2023 Almost Done, Am I Healed?

 A lot can happen in few years. Happy memories, pain, traumas. Some lessons have learned. But there is that one pain you thought you've been healed, somehow have not yet. You have read many psychology books in hoping searching for answer, in hoping you will feel better. You know very well what is hurting you, yet you can't let it go cause it has rooted inside you. And you ended up just live in looping, can't get out the situation. When I'm in happy state like I don't have depressed thought, I feel like I've been healed. But when I'm in stressed state feels like all pain in past resurface and suffocates me.

What am I supposed to do?

I can't live like this forever. ya Allah please help me.